You can’t imagine it, the singer states. At that moment readying for her first album release in eight years, deeply enamored with her recent boyfriend, and at long last the mother of a toddler after struggling to conceive for ten years, feeling invincible. Then in spring she was diagnosed with a breast cancer diagnosis.
The singer-songwriter, actual name Jessica Cornish, is renowned for telling it as it is. The record, her latest release, was meant as an candid account, dealing with every moment of pain she’d faced since she last worked on songs (endometriosis, miscarriage, failed relationships, emotional abuse, mental health struggles) with characteristic openness. The initial release, No Secrets, was dropped in April. But by then there was a mighty secret. The cancer. Later second single, the upbeat Living My Best Life, came out in late spring and she was giving interviews about how she was living her best life, while still secretly living with the disease. Four weeks after she went public, and in July she had a mastectomy.
She shoots me her best “What the fuck?” glance. “I release with a song called No Secrets. I’m conducting every interview, and they inquire, ‘What’s happening?’ and I’m, like, ‘Well, not much…’” the singer has just had to cancel tour dates because she’s awaiting follow-up surgery.
Our interview takes place at a photo studio in London. She is wearing a tan faux-leather coat, jeans with ornate white designs, off-white boots and large glasses. Picture motorcycle style meets 70s singer aesthetic. “I feel like I’m in the seventies and I should have a partner with a mustache.” Like the film, I say, thinking of the picture. “That’s what people called me at school!” She grins. She is fast-thinking, unfiltered and direct. She says she has always fancied doing comedy and is hoping to make her standup debut in the coming year. “I like entertaining. During performances I often tease the fans.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
Cornish was preparing for an slot at the awards show when she discovered a mass. “I immediately went to get it looked at, had an scan, and they said, ‘It seems benign; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I was, like, ‘But I can feel it. My arm hurts and numbness in my fingers whenever I wake up.’ And they suggested, ‘Well, let’s just do a biopsy?’ The date was March 28, the post-birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The doctor told her if it was serious she’d reach out on the start of the week. By then she had assured herself it was fine. The way she tells it, it was just bad timing to face illness when she had so much on.
“It was a fortnight prior from launching this thing after years away and four years without a single. And the doctor messaged and said, ‘Is six okay?’ And I thought, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I join the call believing it’s all going to be fine, and she goes, ‘Are you sitting down?.’ That sympathetic voice? And she reveals, ‘I regret to inform you but your reports have indicated malignant cells.’” What was your reaction? “I replied, ‘Oh, that’s not ideal, is it?. That’s not fucking great timing.’ The first thing I thought was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
Men have called me difficult because I’m a strong person who understands who I am
She considered the operation terrifying and absurd. “I dislike anesthesia. They lead you. During crises you roll down in a bed, but this time I just strolled down with a medical attire and my bum hanging out. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, she notes, she’s been fortunate. No chemotherapy or radiation, just the surgery. “Cancer sucks, man, but yet I’m grateful it was caught soon. I underwent removal four months ago and my affected breast now appears as a odd shape.” She smiles again. “I got to keep the nipple, though.”
The next operation is for health and appearance. Her breasts, she remarks, are now “different sizes. They didn’t do an implant as small as my original. So inconsiderate! I thought, don’t add insult to injury, I’m already having a difficult experience. Such disrespect! It’s funny because I said I’d never get my boobs done because I’ve got perfectionism, and I know they’d never be perfect. Cancer ruined that plan.”
A History of Health Challenges
The singer is accustomed to medical issues. She thinks her perspective on the cancer has been so optimistic because she’s experienced in medical emergencies. They have often coincided with peak moments, acting as a reminder, or blow, to remind her not to be complacent. “Frankly, I feel life goes, ‘Things going well? Sit down.’ Since childhood, it has always gone alongside achievements for me; a major or strange event has impacted my body.”
She takes me back to her 11-year-old self, already starting her career starring in the West End in the production (she was cast at the age of nine). That’s when she was found to have the heart condition Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, which can cause a rapid pulse as well as dizziness and irregular beats. “I attended rehearsals intermittently on an intravenous line, and going back into hospital at night.” She fast-forwards several years, and teenage Jess has joined the girl group Soul Deep while enrolled in the academy. “I just got my first record deal, and I had a stroke. Then when I was planning to release songs in the year 2020 I had a car crash and my throat was injured and I lost my voice for a year.”
Wow, I say, hold on, I am overwhelmed. At just 17? She nods|agrees
